Dark Kim's blog...

This Is My Life!

2010-10-27T14:52:00.002+08:00

Finally exams are over. A day more to the school holidays. Like we have! * rolls eyes *
Sigh... Even exams are over, I thought that my "friends" would come and talk to me. I didn't think it would become a world of hatred.
What did I mean?
You see, after exams, one of my friend went to talk to me about her problem. Saying that her best friend had been taken by another friend. That was fine. I became her listener and cared for her. But when I did not came to school yesterday, not a single sms from her. People would sms, " What happened to you? Are you okay?" I did not recieve any..
Then I went online. She talked to me. " Hi, did you skipped school? Ha ha."
Erm. For your information, I was sick! I had stomach flu and consistantly having stomach pain! Oh yes, I liked to skip. But, I won't skip if I don't have a reason!
I may look fine, but actually I am not. Likewise, people may look dumb, but they are actually smart. Its the same.. You may look angry, but you are actually not. So, I may look fine but actually I am not. I am not the type that shouts to everyone, telling people that I am sick. I am actually silently sufferring. If you think that I am not, then what makes you think that I am NOT silently sufferring? You have problems, you came to me. When I have problems, I came to you but you gave a the " -.-" look. So was it not the best that I don't look for you?
I am always being ignored. Why must I go towards you? Why can't you go towards me? How lonely I am, did you feel it? Being cheerful and happy isn't as easy as you think it is. Cause for me, I am always living in a world FULL OF LONELINESS!

You were stress, you came to me. I got angry, you say me. When I am not angry, I am just SAYING ABOUT PEOPLE, you say I am angry. I stress, I cried, you didn't do anything. You stress, you cried, I comforted you. So, this is what I get in return - BEING IGNORED. You asked one question, I replied you. When I asked you a question, it took you a day to reply me. If you think that I am angry when I am just saying people. You are wrong. I am angry when I am really pissed. When I shouted that day in class, that was for someone. I was not angry. It was my friend. Then, you said " Need me to pour ice at you?" To be frank, I am not angry. But when you said that, I was pissed. Can you get your facts right before saying anything? If you think that you know me well, THINK AGAIN. Cause, you don't. I have not fully shown what is my real personalilty. This is only three-quarter of it. Up to now, I have always been showing a three-quarter side of me. So don't you think that I am easy to toy with!

I have lots of things in my head now. May be this is why when you read my post, you may not understand it. Let me summarize for you :
- I am always lonely.
- I am using three-quarter of my personaility. This is what I think!
- I am not your toy. Need me, use me. Don't need me, you throw me aside!

I dont belong to anyone. I dont belong anywhere. I am not welcome by anyone. I am not welcome in anywhere. I dont exist. I am not being remembered. This is my Life.

I'm Freaking Pissed Off!

2010-09-01T19:31:00.001+08:00

What’s your problem sia? I know that she is just a young girl. But at least I didn’t treat her like an animal right? I still treated her as a human right?
So what is your problem? She beat me, I never said anything. YOU called her to beat me, I just jokingly said, “I’ll come and beat you!”
She stood there, I just pulled her hair a bit and she started to cry. Then you all come and make noise at me, saying that I beat her. Which shit eye told you that I beat her? Any evidence? So please lah, don’t anyhow accuse people can or not?
First up, she beat me, it’s was you who called her to do that. I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING. Now, she ACTED LIKE SHE IS SHIT INNOCENT. You blame me. You never once taught your child how to behave. Now you put the blame on other people. You always said that my father is a lousy father, a black sheep. Though you never said it, I can tell. BECAUSE YOU ARE MY UNCLE. It’s fine you know, cause I somewhat agree. My father is one heck shit father. I know that. But aren’t you the same? Instead of taking care of your own daughter, you went to watch anime, play your bloody PSP. You, instead of taking care of your daughter, went to sleep. Aren’t you the same? Or should I say, you are worse than my father? Well, at least my father knew how to take care of me. You and your wife, what did you all did? NOTHING. You and your wife, all you people did was, sleep, play, enjoy your lives and never taught anything to your daughter. You expected that WE teach your daughter things. Why? You took the easy way out, you know. She hit people, you scold her. I didn’t say that was wrong. But you didn’t teach her the proper way. You didn’t spent ample time with her. I know she wants to play, but she too needs love. And why aren’t you, as a father, not doing so? I’m just a child. A kid. I don’t have a proper home. You should know. But, in front of a person who doesn’t have a proper family, what would the person would think of you and your child?
What I am pissed off is, I didn’t even hit her. It was you who said that I hit her. I just pulled her hair a bit and your start barking like a mad dog. Not like you don’t know your child. She is one troublemaker. How old she is? Only two. But what can I say? She is young. I know. But you spoil her too much. And worse of all. You are just letting her do as she please. I know she doesn’t know things. But hey, look at how she behave. Next year, she will be in kindergarten. How would the teacher and she schoolmates react? Your wife said she wanted the daughter to speak phoenix. Oh please, she still does not know how to say “daddy” or “mummy” yet! Why? Because you, as a parent, did not teach her. Simple reason.
This is what I hate most. What you said always will not come true. Example? You wanted to look after you child. Okay, we know that you got work, hence we helped you to look after her. But when you come home, we expected that you should look after your child. And what did you do? You went to play your stupid PSP. We didn’t say anything. I know I am in no position to say anything but it really annoys me. You already got a house, you should stay there. Not let the house to grow mushrooms and collect dust! You called me to get out of the house, I don’t mind. I don’t mind staying in the road side. As I am an unwanted child. My parents gave birth to me and just dumped me to my grandparents. Then, what are you? Maybe I should live in an orphanage. Maybe I should just enter a girl’s home. I know where is my place. You don’t have to spell it out. My position. My house. How about you? You should reflect on what you did to me. Cause I am in no wrong. Because you accuse me that I hit your child, which I didn’t.
Life is simply unfair. You have a proper family, and I don’t. You should give your child a proper family. Hence when you go somewhere, you should bring your child along. Instead, you just left her with your mother. We know that a maid is expensive. We helped you looked after her. When you are going to have your fun, why can’t you share it with your daughter? She is your daughter, so don’t treat her like your junk! Even if I am your niece, don’t treat me like your animal! Because I am a human. My birthday is coming. I think, I will not look forward to it. Cause I know, no one will celebrate it for me. Don’t worry. Cause I will not be like you and treat people like animals or junks.

Exams With Lots of Trouble...

2010-07-23T19:57:00.002+08:00

I'm back (:
Today was seriously tired... I came back from school, then I went to bathe. After nathing, I was told be go central to buy curry puffs for my family. No choice I went down. After that, I came home and slept on the bed. Today in school... hmmx. What to talk about..
Today I had Literature test. I think I can like JUST PASS? Not sure. First question was worth 10 marks. It was upon 15 marks. I was like thinking " WHAT THE HELL! 10 MARKS FOR JUST A QUESTION?!" Cant ignore it right? Its my test. T.T sad.... Nothing new is going on.. Just that I have less time to stay back for CCA (which is best for me. Too much time taken for studies) and begining of August I have the whole week of tests. Each day have different test going on... Unseen poem, English Paper 2, Chinese compo... Home Econ research, Science test, Geography Test. OH MY GOD. I CAN JUST FAINT IN THE HALL-WAY WHEN I REACHED HOME. Too tired.. Its just after NOMAD and BOOM, everything is being thrown to you calling you to do it at once.
"Exams With Lots of Trouble"
Well, its not really trouble.. Its just that I have lots of group work and I HATE group works. You have to group with people and do everything TOGETHER. If not some people will show attitude to you for no reason... I have this group. One of them started to quarrel with me, erm, hello? She started the fight first. People wants to learn and you wanted to sleep. If you think it this way, if she is tired then what about others? Are you telling me that others is not tired? Please lah. She still can shout at me telling me to go away. Fine, I left the place, TO LET HER SLEEP, and just what? She didnt sleep after I left. Shit right? So what is the point of me leaving when in the end you, yourself, didnt sleep at all? Are you blaming me? This is why I hate group work. Next session, she went to quarral with another teammate, this time, I sat there minding my own bussiness. Our leader was also minding her own bussiness and the two of them were quarraling. Seriously, what is her problem? Thinking that she is right all the time why not she does everything. If she is so smart, why cant she is top of everything? Just because she is from China, doesnt mean that everything she do IS correct. People makes mistakes. So why cant she just shut up, listen to what people have to say, and discuss. Why must you make it so difficult? If you dont wanna respect people, then why do you expect people to respect you? I hate group works. When I was younger, I was more into group works. Now, I can see that things have change alot. No point of me sulking... I should really learn to be patient and calm.
SIGH....

Yeah! Free at LAST!!!

2010-07-22T08:50:00.003+08:00

Yes! NOMAD IS OVER! People was going crazy on that day, Like no other diesease had occurred in a life-time...
Now I am in Com Lab going round doing or bother people.. Haha.. too bored.. I am still sleepy, because of the stupid NOMAD... Days by days staying up late like 12am in the morning. Then have to get up the next morning for school. FREAKING TIRED. I am very bored as i have nothing to do at home. This is not typed by me, this is typed by my friend.. I am just saying this to her so she help me type, lol..

Tired...

2010-06-18T22:55:00.002+08:00

Haiz.. I am so tired... After a LONG day of rehearsals for some event, I was so beat..
Can't help it right... After all, it is a BIG event... But still, rehearsals were harsh, OK... NOT THAT BAD but still... Today, I left home around 1.25pm came home around 10.00pm. Late right? Haiz... Now watching a new anime... June holidays really don't feel like a holiday to me... A month just gone by like nobody bussiness... It was very tired... I still have my maths worksheet not done... What I did for the past three weeks was to watch anime... I finished an anime series within a week... so within three weeks, I finished three animes... LOL.. Is it a thing to celetebrate? Anyway, the most important thing is to finish my homeworks and perform for that event( I don't want to say the name of the event). Now my mind was like twirling round and round... I don't even know what I am typing now... LoL.. Too tired already.. By the way, it has been a long time since I had blog... I know my blog is abit DEAD, but ya... I am not a person who really blog daily... I don't really like to blog.. Sometimes, I don't even know what to blog.. hehe. Time for me to watch some anime to cheer myself up. (: Got to go.

Romance huh?

2010-04-14T19:49:00.002+08:00

Romance huh? Well, I cant say that I am an expert in romance or should I say, relationship? But hey! I do watch romance shows, well of coruse from animes and mangas. I know that I have no rights to say anything about relationships as I am single, until now... Still single. LOL. But you see, I want to share this with everyone. Though those people whom knows me good enough. You all know what I am currently doing...
Okay back to the topic. Romance. I option in romance that, yes its love. But what the whole main idea is relationship.. Yes, you can love each other, but are you sure that this person is your future partner? No one can predict the future, yes everyone knows that. But if you like back the person that you perviously had a crush on... Worse still that you are dating with another girl... That does make you a two-timer isnt? Then I want to ask this question. Why are you still dating and not telling your current girlfriend that you have liked back the person you had a crush before? I mean, you liked person A once. Then you gave up on her. And you went to date with person B. Now you liked back person A. And you didnt tell person B that you liked back person A. You left person B in the dark. But look in the other way round.. Maybe you dont know if you still liked back person A or its just a close relationship? Yes, you may not know. But what happen if you tell person B that maybe you like person A again? Wouldnt it be awkward for both parties?
Wouldnt it be best if you didnt start dating with each other? I suggest that you two should hang out more often then to stop hanging out and in the end went to put your mind into dreamland and think of another princess or prince.
What some people said, " I should wish them happiness and vowed that this is my last time in relationship." What can I say? If you really have lost interest in that person, stop dragging people's time and say what you really think of her or him. I know that it maybe hurting for the opposite party but at least you cleared what you have thought of right? Give up one thing at a time. Dont be too greedy and get into so much girlfriends or boyfriends and in the end you get nothing but slaps. I know I am hush but hey, I have seen it before or you can say I even imagine it before. I have not try it before as I dont want to. My first things up are my studies. I really want to achieve something. But some poeple at a young age went to date.... I was shocked. When I was sec 1. I heard that my classmates had boyfriends or girlfriends. Now I am alright. No more shocks. Just "orh". Haha. If you are like the type of person that I had mention, no offence but please dont go and break your girldfriend or boyfriend heart and just say "I dont like you anymore." Please lah. Why cant you say, "I am sorry but I think it is best if we just stay friends." I know this may hurt but at least its better than saying it out directly? Correct me if I am wrong, people will cut themselves cause their boyfriend or girlfriend had dumped them. My senior said this, "I find it silly to cut yourself. If you dared to cut yourself, must why just jump off the building." Okay, she is a hush person but I can halfly agree with her. Get on with life!!! The world doesnt end at 2012 cause some people said it would. Get off with problems and start a new day! Though I have no rights to say that but its just a friendly advise. Have a nice day and try to think about it. OK? :)

What The Heck Is Going On?!?!?!

2010-02-21T17:22:00.002+08:00

What the heck is going on?
First- My Geography homework.
I lost it but I found it again. Today when I wanted to do it, I couldnt find it.
My bad day Number 1!

Second- Class-mates Grouping Problem.
This is what I want to throw my anger out.
Two of my class-mates, they wanted to group with me close friend. But my close friend wanted to group with me and ask them if they wanted to group me with them.
This is what they replied to her to me : I dont want her!
THEY DONT WANT ME!!!
What the fuck! ( I know this is rude but I'm seriously angry here!)
I wanted to cry.... I sniff during recess but when my close friend talked me, telling me not to get angry.. My tears started to burst out. I said: Just leave me alone. I dont want to talk to you now.

I'm seriously mad. When I got home, I send a message to my best friend (from Drama Club) and my close friend my feelings about this case.

My close friend replied me this : Is not that I dont want you. Is they dont want you.

My best friend replied me this : Dont worry about this. I'm still here. I'm still your friend. Dont let this get into you.

Which message will you prefer to look at?
When I replied my close friend who was the "they". She replied me the names. As expected who was it, I nearly cried again. But i told myself to be strong and who cares about these fucking things. I didnt cry anymore. Why the fucking hell must we even have to do all these project?!
Just because most of the projects I grouped with my close friend, I tihnk they got jealous bacause I'm "stealing" their friend away from them. This again. Primary school I was like that too. I had friendship problems. Then I got enemies because of the number of friends I had. What the hell. Now secondary school is the same. How childish can this be. I'm all alone now. I have to group people like Crystal Lim, Adam Oh. FINE. I'll group with them. I'm sure I will get better marks than them. I mean... Seriously, why must I suffer like this? Maybe I think is about my background..
That is why I still have this thick wall blocking my "out-going personalilty".
I know that even its the case I still have to work with people with nice fucking attitude that they like. I'm really sick of all these.

I'm a lonewolf again. I really wish I have some magical fairy beside me and help me with my things and all. I wish fantasy does exist in the human world. I still can remeber that in my kindergarden days how out-going I was. I made lots of friends when I was younger. People said I changed after primary school. I guess without a family really did hit me. That's why I changed into a real devil about friends.

I want to make a path. I want to surround in darkness. I dont care about things like this anymore.
From nowon, I want to change my attitude towards my studies instead of my attitude to my friends. I cant be too soft-hearted anymore. I felt that everyone is taking my soft-heartedness for granted. I such a fool for not realising that you did like me as a friend, but you took me as a fool. You told me that you didnt want me to be in your group and how does it feels if that was reflected to you?!

I curse you to have this fate : No any friends like you because of this fucking face of yours towards people. Your true colours will be revealed and it will be freaking fucking ugly. You two will definately find this fate upon you!

I'm so mad. I will study hard and make sure I will never see your fucking bloody face ever again.

And bacause of this, I cant find anyone to lend me their geography worksheet for me to copy....
Fuck it. Never ever to make me this mad. Otherwise I will definately slap you. (if you didnt do anything damn bad to me then you wouldnt have seen this side of me!)

NEGATIVE RULES POSITIVE DROOLS!!! Woohoo!

Valentine

2010-02-16T21:30:00.003+08:00

Oh yes, I know its late but Happy Valentine Days to everyone.
Best wishes to AMKSS Drama Club and to class 2A.
Good luck to my primary school-mates and always love to the core.
Happy Valentine Day....
Girls who has a boyfriend, just give them a kiss as a valentine day present.
I'm not going to provide chocolate for you..
Haha. A joke.
Dont keep breaking up and patch up again. OKAY, one of my good friend....
Anyway. sorry for the late wishing... Happy Valentine Day and a Happy Chinese New Year!
See Ya.

Chinese New Year

2010-02-16T21:14:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone out there! woohoo...
Urg.... I'm so bored. Though yes, its chinese new year, but because of that, I can't watch Detective Conan. I asked my aunt if I can watch that show but she said no.
Cause Detective Conan is a murdering shows. It talks about murder... Hence its now allowed.
Chinese new year must be postive! Not negative!
Hence, I dont know what the heck I should watch but anyway, just randomly click here and there.
Haiz.... Though its fun to collect money from people. Just say " Happy Chinese New Year" and you'll get a red packet. Haha. Try it. It may not work for some poeple but still you must give respect to poeple, right?
Well, its the last day of the chinese new year holiday.. Next day got school... Haiz... Very sian.
But still, planning to watch back my Detective Conan after chinese new year....
Can't watch Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters.... T.T
Sad case.. boohoo...
See you next time (:

My Computer

2009-11-17T20:15:00.002+08:00

What the heck, I was using the compiter half way and suddenly the whole PC shut down.... When I tried to start it up, it couldnt. I have no idea what had happen but I know that I cant use the computer anymore....nya.... Now I can only use the laptop if I want to play.... However, using the laptop I cant play maple story... T.T
Well, I can watch my anime series so I guess I cant complain.... Just that... I can use the laptop for a certain period... I guess its true because I cant let the laptop explode like my computer... Guess I have no choice.... Its a sad case for me and I really really hope the laptop wont explode like the computer did.... Otherwise I will jump here and there, crying and banging myself again the wall.... -.-'''
Well, Bye bye computer and hello books.... boohoo....

Life is Just NOT fair

2009-11-02T22:28:00.002+08:00

Life is really not fair... its been always like that. I'm also sure some people will go through theses pain and suffer. This is what happen:
When you have to group with the person, you feel like the person doesnt need you.
When you suggest out your idea, the person just look at you and ignore you ; taking that as if you didnt said something.
When you dont understand what the person just said cause he used the words which you find it hard to understand, he just shout at you NOT even wanting to understand what you want to find out.
When the person said he doesnt want to do, actually he wants to. [This is what I hate people for that most]
" Words lie, but feelings doesnt"
When you want to cooperate with the person, sometimes the person doesnt want you to and you get scolded from another person when she said you didnt join hands with him.
This was what happened to me. I feel very, very, very vexed.
I am not the kind of person that wants to cry easily like a baby, but it really does hurt your feelings.
I dont want to cry because of theses stupid kind of rediculous things. Well, its true that you need to cry out when you feel to. But theses really dont feel right for me to cry.
This is the first time for me writing such a long post on a blog.
Maybe I just want to put my feelings somewhere so that I can just let my feelings go.
Well, I feel this way is better than anything.
I told my friend what happened about me, she wanted to help me even though she doesnt have any power to do so. I was very touched about it.
I really hope tomorrow will be a bright day for me.
Somehow I feel that tomorrow will be the same as today.
I hope not. Otherwise I cant face the person that I really angry at. More I sees him, I feel like shouting at him.
Haiz. Need to rest. Too tired...
*yawn*

BLOGS... HOMEWORKS... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

2009-08-10T12:45:00.000+08:00

... I dont always blog as I myself have no time to do so... But some new posts will be updated... Oh yes... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE!!! And also to some other people whose birthdays' are on the same date as singapore... Sigh... My D&T homework... SUCK!!!! Cant finish in time... LOL... But having holidays is also a good thing... YES!!! I CAN PLAY THE WHOLE DAY!!! Nah... I dont think i can do that... Exam is round the corner and i still have not study!!!! Haha... Maybe I still can pass SOME of my subjects... LOL......

My Memory Card!!!

2009-07-12T15:42:00.000+08:00

Hmmx... My whole memory card is gone... Well, that morning, I was listening to songs from my phone in the bus, when I reach school, I took out my sim card and memory card out cause there was like a problem with the damn phone and when I placed everything back, the memory card's things was ALL gone! My songs, pictures, videos... EVERYTHING!!! Gone... ): I was like, depress... Cant help it... Now asking my friends to send me their songs which they sent me before, but... My primary school friends sent me their songs were gone... All had memories which I cant forget.... ALL GONE!!! Boohoo... Sobs... ): SAD!!!!

My June Holydays~

2009-06-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

I feel that my June holidays are going CRAZY! I still have not start my tuitions homeworks and school homeworks... What's more on 11 June and 12 June, some galz will be coming to do PROJECTS!!! That is one thing i hate most! PRACTICE. PRACTICE. PRATICE!! I had to practice for my "drama" and I WANT TO PLAY!!! But cant... ~sad~ My maple account was being hack and I know who did it... "Better be careful! If I see you, I'll make sure you wont have any fingers to play!!!" MY POOR CHARACTER!!! Ah... Who cares???

~Kimberly~

2009-05-24T14:07:00.001+08:00

Abit more about myself....

2009-04-18T12:54:00.000+08:00

THINGS WHICH I HATE....
- Myself
- Being lonely
- Friends who don't treat people( like me) friendly, good and nice...
- People whom knows things better than people and they acted so proud of it...
- Horror storys
- Storys which are of course not my type... :)

THINGS WHICH I LIKED
- Japanese animes
- Japanese manga
- Romance storys
- Story which are of course my type...

TYPES OF STORY
- Romance
- Anime
- Fantasy
- Magical girl
- School life

Being sick....

2009-04-18T12:52:00.000+08:00

Sick for 2 days....
No need to go to school is one thing which i like....
Being lonely is another thing... I'm soooooooo happy that i did not went to school
LOLZ....
Boring at home....

Hi...

2009-03-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

Hello, i am new to this blog-site, so please guide me 'kay? >.<